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Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Comments

Kristen

Oh my word, AMEN AMEN AMEN. This is so well written. I agree on so many points.

Michael

Amen to all of that. Thanks for taking the time to write it, Thad.

Ryan

Really great thoughts, Thad. What I've seen over the last month because of Haiti has really challenged my thoughts on intl. adoption. My eyes have really been opened to how much these kids crave a family and would die to be placed in a loving home. It disappoints me to see so many people in power completely disregard that simply because they are glued to an ideal.

I would love to meet up with you sometime soon for lunch or coffee or something and talk more about your adoption journey and thoughts. Sara and I have been talking a lot lately about different options, and I'd like to just glean some wisdom and insight from you. Shoot me an e-mail when you get a chance and have some free time.

Later man...
Ryan

Christine

Another way to facilitate culture is through the practice of open adoption. International adoption makes that really difficult, but not impossible (especially when you are a determined fart, like I am).

We adopted our two most recent children from a disrupting adoption. They had been adopted from Haiti.

(speaking of being surprised - always knew we had Haiti in our hearts, just never suspected we would add Haiti to our home like this - surprise!)

My kids have always had contact with their first family in Haiti, but in their last home it was via someone who was profiting greatly from those interactions. We knew it was vital to cut that contact and pray for another way to open up communication. It took me six months, but I "found them" again, and found a contact who was only interested in helping us maintain that relationship.

Since the earthquake, we have lost contact. Our sweet missionary friend is kinda busy keeping hundreds of people alive in her front yard. Unless she finds a way to piss deisel, don't think she can toodle around town hunting down this family ... while others are in need of transport to hospital care. We wait.

But I WILL NEVER GIVE UP until I locate them again. It is vital that my kids have access to their first family, and then can choose the level of their relationship with them. Because of massive cultural differences, we need the go-between. It can be awkward - downright weird for all of us - and my now very Westernized children have to go through the process of trying to understand the differences.

At the time of the orphanage care and subsequent adoption, my children were facing starvation. Their family reached a point of stability again (for a multitude of reasons, which change daily in Haiti). Because of extreme poverty, starvation, survival-of-the-fittest, my children also have some extreme obstacles to overcome.

Life is messy and complex and poverty screws that up even moreso. I am praying that UNICEF will honor the need for balance - improving a country WHILE giving a safe and permanent "forever" to the already suffering and institutionalized children.

So far, though, they don't seem to care so much what I think. :)

Patti

This is good thinking and good writing, Thad. A mom at our old church has lately been guest blogging on the NY Times webpage about her family's adoption journey (an 8 year old, physically disabled girl from China) and I have been amazed at the vitriol many commenters have spewed. I didn't really know that international adoption could be so offensive; that people would find such bizarre reasons to hate people who pursued it. Adoption has always seemed such a straight-forward Jesus move to me, whether domestic or international.

Erin

As a mama to two Ugandan kiddies and one biobaby, i really appreciate you giving voice to my convictions about why adoption is not ideal, but necessary and beneficial in this broken world.

Much like Moses was adopted into Pharaoh's family and then returned to his birth culture as an adult to help set the captives free, it is our prayer that our kids -- our family -- will someday be catalysts for change in Uganda.

Thanks for posting!

Darren

Hey Thad --

This is a great post. Thanks for making it.

As Terri and I get the house ready to bring home #3 from Russia (hopefully within the next month), the stories I've seen on the news have really driven at this issue for me. I would love for these precious children who are a part of our family to never have experienced life in an orphanage -- no mama, no daddy, no one to rock them at night or hold them when they were scared. I'd love for them to never have experienced hunger or loss or grief.

But I can't change that. What I can do is give them a home where they don't experience those things again. And I think that's what Scripture means when it says we should defend the cause of the orphan. I truly believe Terri and I are the plan God had to provide comfort to our kids.

Chase

Groaning with you.

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